Sunday, November 9, 2014

First Published 6/1/14

I find It odd we live in a society where racial slurs and homosexual offensive words of which I will not name here makes their way into every song, story, and TV show aired to the teenagers of today. All we are doing is sucking the future generation of our society into an abyss of sexism and hatred for anyone seen as different.


The most popular songs seen on the radio today are full of getting drunk and having sex usually with a healthy dose of money and a touch of swearing for good measure. No wonder we have entered a society where the divorce rate is 50% and almost everyone is scared to show who they truly are. Body image issues and poor self-confidence is at an all-time high and only getting worse with songs like “Blurred Lines” topping the charts. Are we that desensitized to violence that most everyone does not realize how degrading and full of sexual violence those lyrics are?

We live in a world where the word love is not heard often and when it is people freak out, they stutter, panic, and finally end with an awkward thank you. People are so easy to enter into a one night stand yet when someone develops emotion it turns into an awkward situation of suffocation and clingy vibes. What are we afraid of?


We are taught as children to fear the stranger in the dark alley, to fear the bad man dressed in black, and to fear our own emotions. Boys are taught not to cry and when women cry they are on their period. Why is society so thrilled to watch the next horror film full of violence, murder, and gore yet the very idea of a happy romantic comedy makes many people gag?


This past evening I finally told my partner that I loved him. He was terrified. Not only did he stutter and fill the awkward silence with a few kisses and panic-filled eyes, but he did not know how to react at all. I ended up coming to the rescue in hopes to pull myself onto a life raft from the pit I just dug myself into, by immediately coming up with a scale for love. A literal definitive answer for me apparent irrational response of having emotion for the gentleman I have never felt more comfortable with, the guy that not only takes me to a sandwich shop when I’m craving it but also stops for a pizza in case I’m hungry later. The boy that brought ME flowers when I made a birthday dinner for HIM. To his defense, (again saving him from the fear of emotional attachment) he does not believe in love.

I never knew what to make of this fact as it caught me very off guard the first time he said it. After digging a tad deeper I learned it was more he had never experienced love so he had no hopes of believing it existed.


I am a person that is terrified of a long term committed relationship because I am bothered by the concept of having to share my life with another. I sabotage any great relationship by overreacting to the little things and refusing to work out any non-perfect situations. Yet I have always believed in love. I fall quickly yet live with a guarded heart. I let fate make my decisions because that way I wont have to live with the consequences. I see the good in people but not the person. Perhaps I am just as blinded as the women that are drunkenly taken advantage of. I don’t see what is right in front of me but instead rely on the impulses of the drug coursing my veins.